Arachnophobia in Bayern

Imagine yourself strolling down a quaint pathway, leading you through an ambrosial garden brimming with colorful flowers and carefully trimmed hedges. Sheltered from the harsh sunlight, thanks to the abundant foliage draping down from overhead, a gentle breeze tickles your nose, rousing the lingering aroma of edelweiss from the omnipresent mountains in the distance. You deeply inhale the crisp Alpine air, let out a lonnnng sigh, and gaze out over the Bodensee......mmm it's a great day. Wilkommen in Friedrichshafen, Germany. This picturesque dorf adorns the Northern lip of the Bodensee, tucked away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life in its own little lakeside community. Celebrating a common language, this see proudly showcases its international waters, serving as a liquid border between Austria, Germany, and Switzerland, and dotting its harbors with an array of flags.

I was fortunate enough to discover this popular destination in the pleasant summer month of August. My roommate from college, Erica, and I were out enjoying the final days of our glamorous vacation before we were to finish a month-long adventure through Europe and head back to California. Spoiling ourselves with tasty Italian cuisine at a number of outdoor restaurants along the water seemed to be the theme of this particular jaunt, and we were determined to make the most of the scenic beauty surrounding us. After our final dinner, consisting of a succulent plate of spaghetti bolognesi, we decided it was necessary that we climb to the top of the overlook tower at the foot of the kleine warf to watch the sunset before our morning departure. While this may seem like a genius idea in the minds of those looking to indulge in eye candy, we were in for a bit of a surprise.....

As can be seen, this structure consists of 10 stories to accommodate one's personal viewing pleasure. Now this may look like a harmless little tower built to entertain tourists, however, it was quite the contrary when experienced at dusk. We began our ascent up the wire-woven steps, carelessly chuckling at the innocence of life, ignorant to the severity of the situation looming ahead of us. "Oh my goddddd, that's a huuuuge spider!" I suddenly shrieked as we rounded the 3rd flight of stairs. Erica, a general arthropod-admiring enthusiast, turned around to get a better look at the spindly critter threatening to block my path. "Wow that's so cool!!" she said, enthralled by the size of this spotted, gangly creature heavily resting in its web. Grim premonitions aside, I took a deep breath and continued following her up the stairs. By the 5th floor, Erica's "harmless" little friend had multiplied into hundreds of fuzzy arachnids, wickedly swinging around their jungle gym of terror, forcing us to sprint up the stairs as fast as our little feet would carry us, dodging hanging webs and praying to God one wouldn't touch us with its needle-esque, seemingly infinite amount of legs. After what felt like an eternity, we burst out of the wired cage and into the open air at the top, safe from the creepy crawlies, and I must admit this blick was rather exquisite.

Following suite, we snapped the obligatory photographs to try and give the sight justice (never the case of course), all the while trying to delay our daunting journey back to ground zero. As the sun slowly began to inch below the horizon, it became apparent that our situation was intensifying with the darkness quickly encroaching. Waiting around was only prolonging the inevitable nightmare we were not yet ready to have inflicted upon us again with such little turnaround. After taking a minute to numb our overactive imaginations, we quickly began flying back down the entrapment, arms over head for protection, and bloodcurdling yelps of helplessness coming from the both of us as we skimmed past several bewildered European tourists. As we rounded the final stairwell to freedom, our feet continued running until we reached the end of the dock, far away from danger. Neither of us could control ourselves from violently jerking up and down, erratically contorting our extremities out in any direction we could manage, hoping to rid ourselves of lingering spider remnants. After we shook out the last of the ick from our clothes and slowly returned to reality, we wandered off the dock and back to human-dwelling territory, all the while wondering whether this distressing adventure was in fact worth the price of our sanity. I'd say so.